Rain-Induced Anxiety

I now very clearly understand the divide between farmers and ranchers regarding rain. My family raised beef cattle when I was growing up and we would always wait impatiently for monsoon season, praying for enough rain in enough time to fatten up our cattle in preparation for the lean winter months ahead. Meanwhile, the farmers would moan and groan over every little downpour, complaining of stuck tractors and waterlogged fields and lost crops.

I get that. I absolutely understand that concern now.

As I type (in the wee hours of the morning), I’m trying not to be overwhelmed with the anxiety of what ifs. It has rained over 5 inches this week (at my last check) and has been raining substantially since about 2 am. Between third trimester insomnia and the nagging worry that my garden will wash away into the creek, I haven’t slept a lot. In about half an hour I’ll wander downstairs and allow myself to tuck into a hot cup of coffee to make up for some of this lack of sleep, but until then…

Until then I’ll wonder how high the creek is, whether we will be able to accomplish deliveries, whether my kale seedlings are enjoying this downpour, how my young winter squash are faring, whether all the pears fell off the trees, if my tomatoes will ever turn red, whether the guinea coop roof leaks, how high the weeds will grow overnight, what there is left to pick in the next few waterlogged hours, whether my customers will understand when we are late or unable to make deliveries, and so many other things.

I’m sure part of this anxiety is just me, being a pregnant mother, but I’ve entered a whole new world with farming. I now understand why some of my favorite farmers never could seem to shake the worry that something would go wrong. I think I’ll eventually move toward acceptance, but it’s a big step. So much of our success relies on weather and timing and we just have to keep up the faith until then.

And hope that we can get out to make vegetable deliveries. I don’t have room for 20 bushels of produce in my freezer.

Check out facebook for photos and weather-related updates.

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  1. Phil Duncan

    September 15, 2013 - Reply

    Thanks for sharing your sentiments, Jessica. It’s been a grueling few days, and it’s hard to be at nature’s mercy. We don’t live in paradise all the time here, but even after all that has happened, I for one, would not live anywhere else.

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